I gasped with awe at first sight of its 42-metre wide Grand Atrium dome glinting with silver and gold mosaic and jutting out across a smoky pink sunset. The prestige and luxury is pretty much guaranteed to make you feel like a million dollars… which is also the sort of money you’ll need to stay here. Welcome to the Emirates Palace in Abu Dhabi.

As my driver pulled up to the entrance, an overzealous doorman, resplendent in a maroon and gold braided jacket, helped me from the car and ushered me into the marble-clad cool of the hotel. Nothing, by the way, entirely prepares you for the sight of the Emirates Palace, and nothing, like the cheesy patter of my driver – “you will feel like princess, this is biggest, beautifulest palace” – really diminishes its impact. Before even entering what is the world’s most expensive hotel (it was said on its opening in 2005 to have cost £2billion to build), I was taken aback by its scale. The hotel is very – and I mean very – big. You see it framed tantalisingly in the distance and the draw is so incredibly potent. But then you step inside and suddenly it’s impossible to take it all in.

I was met with a silver tray bearing cool wet flannels and a choice of bottled water, Arabic kahwa (coffee) and freshly squeezed OJ. I plumped for the latter before tottering around more than a mile of elaborately decorated corridor, glittering with the light of more than 1,000 custom-made Swarovski crystal chandeliers (apparently, a 10-strong team is employed full-time just to clean them).

Beautifully dressed staff continued to greet me routinely every second of my mile-long introductory tour. It was all very charming, I thought, if just a tad OTT. I meandered through a ceremonial arch the size of the Arc de Triomphe, past an Arabian fantasy of interiors with gold-leaf walls (which reputedly used up a year’s supply of gold from South Africa) and through numerous sets of double doors, their handles, too, encrusted with gleaming Swarovski crystals.

I was shown parts of the Palace that were easy to miss in a hotel so colossal like the 1,200-seat theatre which has staged the musical Chicago and three ballrooms that can be turned into a single room capable of holding 2,500 guests. I continued to wander for what felt like all eternity before finally being rescued by a passing golf cart.

Next, I sat down to an outstanding meal at Sayad, the hotel’s signature restaurant overlooking the corniche and the urban skyline and serving an innovative selection of the freshest caught seafood. For me, this was one of the most wonderful aspects of the hotel. Walking into the dining room with its stunning blue-lit interior, I was a little curious to know whether I was still at sea level.

Despite the Emirates Palace’s money-no-object extravagances, sheer flamboyancy and overwhelming chirpiness, I quite like it. If you’ve always lusted after being pampered in style – and your numbers have come up on Euromillions – you may join me in saying you like it, too.

Images courtesy of Kempinski Hotels